hipinion stalker

My husband has been out of our apartment for about two months and sees our son a few times a week but does not have him over night. My son has been not sleeping well and has regressed to wanting to be held until he falls asleep. My husband says that is because he is two and playing me? I think it is because he is afraid I will leave too. Can a two year old be affected by this situation?

- JaneK

People don’t like to sense instability. Tomorrows are terrifying - what might they bring. Your son probably senses some instability. It might be new to him and pretty frightening. He’s wondering what tomorrow might bring or worse, what tomorrow might lose. Something is shattered but you can help him recover. He’ll more likely trust that you’ll always be around if every day feels the same. He can snuggle and feel safe in the folds of repetition. Don’t create whole new routines but find staples in existing ones. Take those routines and really reinforce them. He’ll like things repeated, however weird they might be. Like Teletubbies but during hard times. Instead of laughing baby suns there will be the hush of goodnight moons, slightly moody but always the same, the mouse always there, just like you.

I want advice but I really don’t have anything that I need help with. Can you advise me on how to need advice?

- Piper in Recursive Hell

That’s unfortunate that you only want advice. You’re correct to want to need it. Living a life with extra needs can be more exciting. When those needs aren’t met you become hyper and desperate, which is good for helping you meet new people. You should spend some time ruining your life. Once the anxiety sets in you’ll feel really alive. You’ll feel humbled. You’ll realize your own limits, your inability to help yourself. You’ll realize that your identity, your actions, your very being - these once seemingly autonomous and self-generating bastions of Who You Are - they are porous. You’re ever in communication with the world around you. It’s shaping you. It is you. You are your environment. You need to know this really well if you’re going to truly need advice. You’ll come to feel the warm glow of Humanity all around you. You’ll let yourself go, you’ll let it carry you. It’ll feel nice.